Days 1 and 2 (Let the Pain Begin)

Yesterday, I did the cardio portion of the online program. I got up at 5am (I have to be at work at 6:45am) and walked 2 miles and ran a half mile. I felt invigorated. It was great! That was yesterday. This morning I got up at 5am and I tried to do the strength training exercises today and only got half way through the routine. It started (and this is level 1-beginner) with three 1 minute sets of jumping jacks. I thought, NO PROBLEM—I used to do those until the cows came home. Of course, I didn’t REALLY think this through. When I used to do these things---I had no breasts (at least, non to speak of) and hadn’t had three children (two of which were more than 9 pounds). For the first 30 seconds I was thinking, “Man alive---I’m going to need a better bra for this.” For the next 15 seconds I was thinking, “I gotta pee.” (After the first 9 lb kid, Matt, I have been unable to laugh, cough, and apparently jump up and down without needing to pee.) So I went potty came back and finished the 15 seconds of jumping jacks. For the second minute worth of jumping jacks, I spent the first 20 seconds using my hands as a better bra because I was afraid that my breasts would either hit the floor or knock me out because they weren’t going to stay in the man made bra that I was wearing. I figured---I’m still jumping even if my arms aren’t moving---it still counts. I spent the next ten seconds telling myself that I really don’t need to pee after all---I just went. I finally had to rest for 5 seconds or so, but then finished my minute of jumping jacks. For the third minute worth of jumping jacks, I spent the first 10 seconds thinking, “This isn’t fun at all---I’m going to get stretch marks on my breasts if I keep this up!” I spent the next 10 seconds thinking, “Maybe being fat isn’t that bad after all---it’s not worse than this.” I spent the next 10 seconds telling myself that I just tried to pee between sets and I really didn’t need to. Finally, after 30 seconds---I stopped. Unlike the other two times, I never restarted in order to finish my minute of jumping jacks. I then proceeded to do 2 different types of lunges 3 sets of 15. My knee was iffy (I spent 6 weeks of the summer using crutches and six weeks of the fall doing physical therapy for my knee), but I took it easy. I did some back and arm strengthening which was not too bad---I didn’t throw anything out or anything. THEN half way through the list of exercises, it said to do 3 sets of one minute each of jumping jacks again. This is when I decided, “When these 14 days are over I am DEFINITELY NOT signing up for this stinkin’ on-line program!!!!” Followed shortly by, “There is no way on God’s green earth that I am doing any more jumping jacks today!!!!” I jumped or should I say stepped into the shower and went to work with enough time to stop for a sausage biscuit because now I was starving.