Day 4 Cont. (Yoga Tape)

These blogs originated as emails to my coworkers and started in May 2008. My emails of trying to get into shape and lose a little weight at the ripe old age of …well, lets just say….forty-something, has inspired my friends and colleagues to give me advice. One of them was my co-worker Randall, who suggested that I try yoga since clearly jumping jacks weren’t my thing. On Thursday, he brought in a Yoga for Dummies video for me to use. On Friday, my buddy, Michele, brought in a yoga mat so that I would have no excuse to not try it out. I brought these things home on Friday. Nobody was home, so I popped the tape in the player and sat down to watch it. I noticed that breathing was going to be an issue. She said that we needed to breath in through our nose and out through our nose and sound like the ocean and not like we’re sniffing. I decided that I needed to practice that before I try to do any moves. I got through about half the tape only practicing my breathing when my darling tweenie bopper came home from school and sat down next to me. The first thing that she asked is, “Why are you only doing the breathing part?” Thankfully, she missed the part that said that I was supposed to be sounding like an ocean not like I’m sniffing or she would have also commented on the fact that I was apparently doing it wrong. I told her that I was just trying to learn how to do it before I tried it. Then the instructor got into a position that she and I both knew that I couldn’t get into, to which she responded, “Mom, you can’t do that.” I responded dejectedly, “Yes honey, I know.” She said, “That’s ok. I’ll do it with you. I can help you.” I know you’re probably thinking, “How sweet.” Don’t you people remember this very same child doing jumping jacks in circles around me just the previous day? The only way that I would let her “help” me do yoga is if I had done some unpardonable sin that I felt was deserving of purgatory. Finally, the instructor got into a position that Chrissie wasn’t sure that she could get into either (she inherited her mother’s flexibility) she responded, “Mom, I know you can’t do that one!” Then I said, “This is Randall’s tape---imagine him getting into that position.” She laughed and said if he could do it, we could. I told her she could give the tape a try, I was going to walk to the store (I didn’t tell her that I was going for a mile walk on the way---the previous day’s humiliation by her was still fresh in my mind.) She said, “no thanks.” So thus far, no yoga other than breathing has taken place. I might give it a try on Sunday. It’s supposed to be a day of rest, but I don’t think that I’m going to get very far, so I think it will count as rest.